Thankful Thursday

Keeping up with a blog has never been easy, so having themes sometimes helps. Wordless Wednesdays and Thankful Thursdays are pretty helpful to keep me going, especially for a whole month. It's easy to find subject matter for a Thankful Thursday and it's a good reminder to think about the blessings in my life.

Today (and every day), I'm thankful for Mike.

I've known Mike since I was 17. We've been married since I was 24. We moved away from our family shortly after we married and then moved to the west coast from the mid-west and now we're on the east coast. Together, we've attended weddings and funerals and celebrated many births. We've been through infertility treatments, miscarriages and the really painful death of a parent.

Then there's the day to day stuff. Mike has supported me in my endeavors to do community theater and he is Superman around the house. There is nothing he won't do to help. He's also one of the most patient people I've ever known. He's smart, funny, naughty and nice. He knows me and he still loves me. We've been lucky enough to grow together instead of apart.

I knew he would be a wonderful father, so when we were having trouble growing our family I worried that he would never get the chance. However, once we decided on adoption, I knew I would get to see Mike be the amazing dad he has turned out to be. On the very first day we met Z, we took her back to our room and I watched Mike hold her in his arms and slowly move back and forth to soothe her. As wonderful as it was for us, it was an incredibly difficult day for her and yet, she let go in his arms and went into a sweet and peaceful sleep. It was beautiful and I still tear up thinking about that moment when he became her father.

In China, Mike was her rock. She clung to him while she was very unsure about me. In the hotel room she really only wanted him at first. As difficult as it was for me (and for him since he had to feed her, dress her and bathe her until she trusted me), I knew that once we came back to the States, Mike would go back to work and I would get the chance to spend my entire day with her. She found her love for me too and Mike was happy for us.

Recently, he took over coaching her soccer team when her coach was unable to continue helping. He was wonderful with her and the other kids. It was great to watch them out on the field, working together for a goal. The goal to spend quality time together as a family. I never thought I would be so happy to be a soccer mom. I'm thankful to Mike and Z for giving that to me.

I could go on and on, but on this day, I'm thanking my lucky stars for my best friend, my parenting partner, my love, my Mike. Thanks, Honey.

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Wordless Wednesday.
(An oldie, but a goody.)

Happy National Adoption Month and NaBloPoMo!

I have no idea if there is anyone still reading my blog. My outlets tend to be social networking sites, but it's NaBloPoMo along with National Adoption Month, so I thought I'd try and get back on track.

Z just turned 7 and for the first time is in school for the whole day. There are things she loves about first grade, but she has asked me on many occasions to home school her because she misses me so much. No, I'm not really contemplating home schooling. However, I miss her too and wish she came home earlier. I look at her and sometimes can't believe I was lucky enough to become her mother.

You've heard this before from many people, but I'm truly astonished she's already 7 since I can remember so vividly holding her in my arms for the first time back in July of 2005. Memories come flooding back to me as I watch her do her homework, write thank you notes for her birthday gifts, and read to me. For the longest time, Z needed "pinky time" with our pinkies to sooth her and I don't remember when she stopped, but sometimes I now ask her to give me pinky time and she happily cooperates.

Sleep. Just something else I remember well. Well, when she was younger we didn't get much. We used to take turns going to bed with her in our room and then we finally made the switch to putting her in her own bed and then we were still constantly having to check on her to keep her calm. Once she was in her big bed, we found it helpful to have a small mattress with a sleeping bag in our room to help when she would get up in the middle of the night. It seems just having a place in our room made her feel better. We are now at the point where she pretty much sleeps through the night with very few night terrors. The only remnant is the night light we keep on until we go to bed, which we shut off when we check on her, so if she wakes up, she knows we've checked on her and we're in our room. Mike and I would often repeat the mantra "check-on-me, check-on-me, check-on-me" to get us through the tough nights.

Z is amazing. Mike and I had a rare date night recently and on the way back home we talked about how everything we went through to have a child led us to her. I never wanted to have two miscarriages, but I also can't imagine life without Z in it. Adoption may not have been the first way we pursued a family, but it has truly been a gift and I can't imagine our family another way. I am also thankful to Z's birth parents for all they have given to Z. We'll never know how much is nature/nurture, but she's a great person and we couldn't have had Z without them.

So, Happy National Adoption Month and Happy NaBloPoMo everyone. I hope to see you here everyday in November. We'll see.......

A Brief Update

Gosh, life gets busy with....

playing...

celebrating...

and making peace symbols that turn into rabbits.

I've also been knitting away and finished several projects and need to photograph them. Currently I'm working on a chemo cap for a friend of my mom's. Next on my needles will be a vest (Hollyberry)for... me! It will be the first knitted garment for me. Ok, there was that one ill-fated shell that still sits in my yarn stash mocking me, but hopefully this one will fit better.

Z (Buttons) is busy loving school. Reading has begun in earnest as well as writing words all over the place. "Mom, what makes the 'yuh, yuh, yuh' sound?" It's amazing to watch her mind working and hearing her read. It's going so fast and yet it's such an exciting ride I don't want it to slow down.

Mike is doing well, although his office changed locations and man, the commute is a killer. Luckily, he works from home sometimes and we get to eat lunch together and see him a bit more during the day.

Ok, I am now going to return to my regularly scheduled program, which today means cutting out paper snowflakes for our tree, shopping for groceries and gifts, making lunch for Z, taking her to school, cooking dinner and then a theater rehearsal for "Into the Woods".

Wishing you all light and warmth during this magical time.

Pride

(Self Portrait)

Today she confided "I'm proud to be me."
Hooray!!!

Finally...the Finished Thor

Z models the Viking hat made for Thor. I was really quite pleased with it and I'm contemplating knitting an adult size Viking hat in the near future.

Also, can you believe that Z goes to kindergarten tomorrow?
I'm loading up on the kleenex in preparation.

Riding in Cars with Z

Scene #1: Driving Z to camp in the rain, I make a stop that sets off the "foot massager" on my brakes.

Z: What was that?

Me: Well, it's a little more slippery than I expected, so my brakes made a funny sound.

Z: Mom, please be really careful driving home, ok?

We drive a little farther and right before she gets out of the car, she once again reminds me to drive safely.

Scene #2: Driving Z to camp again, with very slow traffic going the opposite way.

Z: Uh-oh. Traffic jam.

Me: I hear traffic jam is good on toast.

Z groans from the backseat (she's heard this joke before).

Z: I suggest you take a different way home, Mom.

She is also able to recognize dudes on the road and feels quite comfortable calling them out on it. But how did my daughter become old enough to say "suggest" and give me driving tips?
She can't even reach the pedals. Yet.

And now for some knitting...

Finally...a knitting post.

TEA TIME
I've been wanting to make a tea cozy/cosy for a long time. There were requirements in my quest for the perfect cozy. The knitted cover needed to fit a larger teapot, be a quick knit with little to no futzing and not be too foofy. Frankie's Mistake Rib Tea Cosy on Ravelry* fit the bill. This teapot cozy will fit either a 3 cup or a 6 cup depending on the size of the yarn and the needles. The mistake rib was easy but interesting (I could knit and still discuss the plot of Zoboomafoo) and there are just 2 sides with very little seaming. I used some worsted Plymouth Encore (in my stash since the start of my knitting career) in a very pretty blue and an unknown DK weight green flecked yarn given to me some time ago and I like the two of them together so much that I'm making some pocketbook slippers with the same mix. Yes, it's mostly acrylic, but for the tea cozy and some slippers I thought they needed to be washable. Also? I'm getting rid of some stash. Hooray!

STOCKINGS

This was a project I've had on the back burner for a while. My mom and her partner wanted HUGE stockings. I began to search for the perfect pattern and decided to come back to the one I used for Buttons' stocking. I wanted it to have a rainbow theme and it needed to be huge, so I decided to use Lamb's Pride Bulky (great selection of colors and, well, bulky). Then I wondered: should I make both of them rainbow and how should I distribute the colors? It took months to decide and I polled nearly all my knitting buds. Finally in mid November, I cast on the blue/purple/green one for my mom who loves cool colors and I whipped it up in no time. My mom's partner loves yellows and oranges and reds, so that was easy and together they make the rainbow. Also, they love Disney stuff and my mom's favorite is Eeyore which goes well with her stocking and her partner loves Tigger and Pooh. Perfect. They came for Christmas, so once Santa had filled the stockings, I switched them for an extra surprise in the morning and they loved them. I still have the big socks because I want to reinforce the i-cord or change it out for a metal ring (huge=heavy) and I still need to weave in the millions of ends. I'm contemplating doing a lining even though they really don't want it since they love the stretch.
What do you think?

BUTTONS & HUBBY

We're in the midst of Snowmageddon Part 2 at our house. You think with all that extra time I would have new nicknames for them, but alas...no such luck. Maybe next post?

*Sorry, there was no external link for the pattern. However, if you're not on Ravelry.com, what are you waiting for, my knitting friend?

SNOW!!!

Well, we're snowed in today.

We had plans.

Big plans.

But there is something blissful about a snow day. So, we're shoveling and sitting by the fire and drinking cocoa and later we'll make bread and cookies. Plans, shplans...we're enjoying the snow day.

(Yeah, still no new names yet.)

Clothes Make the Kid...Happy

My daughter and I don't see eye to eye on clothing. I love the Hanna Andersson dress and leggings sets. She does not. She wants to dress like a teenager. I do not want that (although someday I know it will be inevitable). We have had our fair share of clothing "discussions". I enjoy going to buy her outfits, putting them together and thinking about where she'll wear them. This started before I had even seen her face, before I knew her personality.

Now she doesn't want to wear the things I buy her...well, at least not everything. She puts outfits together that are loud and "creative". She has a style that is somewhere between Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga. Don't get me wrong, she isn't into skimpy outfits but she often seems to look like a rock star. She does her hair in ways that thoroughly surprise me.

You know, I remember having strong feelings about clothing when I was a kid as well. I put striped tops with oddly patterned pants and made my mother cringe on many occasions. Now I have been told by friends that I am very matchy-matchy and I must agree. So what happened? Did I grow out of it? Did I get such ribbing about it that I never ventured into crazy outfits again? I don't know.

There is something about having your own style and feeling good about yourself when you can find adventure in your closet. I know that every once in a while I have one of those times when I go to my closet looking for something to perk me up and I find an outfit that I've never thought of putting together just come out and bite me. I put it on and it feels good. I feel good. And maybe then I do my hair in a completely different way and all of a sudden I am lifted a little.

I don't think we should pin our self worth on how we look, but I think being able to express ourselves is important. I'm trying not to pin my dreams about those clothes on our daughter, but instead let her find her own way of expressing herself. She wants to be who she is and one of my jobs as a mom is to let that shine through. Today, she's wearing a short sleeve white shirt with orange and pink flowers, brown cropped leggings with blue dots and a crazy ponytail; it's 40 degrees here. See? I'm trying.

The Garden

We planted a garden this year, our first in a while. We did a 4 x 8 raised bed, added some nutrient rich soil to some plain vanilla soil and planted mostly seeds along with a few plants. We purchased bean, carrot, zinnia and sunflower seeds. We bought basil, cilantro, green pepper, and tomato plants. We planted the cherry tomato seeds given to Buttons by her teachers. We added sugar snap pea plants given to us by friends. Buttons was ecstatic and we were out planting, watering, waiting and singing.

Well, we took a 10 day trip and came home to find that our garden had become a jungle. It was out of control. One tomato plant yielded dozens of tomatoes, the beans were happy, the cherry tomatoes were popping and the zinnias were giving the bees plenty of pollen. Then there were the sunflowers. They grew over our daughter, and then over our fence, then us and we were pretty certain we could write a story called "Buttons and the Sunflower Stalk". They were huge. Were they 12 feet? 14 feet? They were huge. The bees flocked to their sweet nectar, the birds found refuge in their stalks and the neighbors wondered what crazy stuff we added to our soil. We delighted in watching them grow and grow and grow.

We ate our beans with lemon and butter. We gobbled tomato sandwiches, tomato pie, sliced tomatoes with salt and pepper. We gave people our tomatoes. We made veggie sausage with onions and green peppers from our garden. We had fresh zinnias for our house and to share with others. We had a few snap peas and carrots to enjoy and we peppered our dishes with basil and cilantro.

We loved our garden.

Then it turned cooler and the sunflowers drooped and it was time to take them down. Summer had ended, school had started and Buttons received some difficult news. Her teacher from last year and one she would have had this year died along with her husband in a bad car accident while attending a funeral. We told Buttons on a sunny Saturday morning, took down the sunflowers and while harvesting the seeds we discussed her teacher, death, the color of the seeds and stink bugs. This garden was bountiful and gave us the chance to get into a deep and difficult discussion while keeping our hands busy. We will plant some of the seeds next year and we will give some of the seeds away. For her teacher, Ms. M, we will plant some purple hyacinth bulbs to remember her in the spring, a time for rebirth.

Garden, you gave us another reason to love the summer and a chance to get ready for the fall by tilling the garden and reminiscing about watching you grow. In the deep frosty winter we will make our plans for the first signs of spring by ordering some seeds. Thank you, garden.

The Play's the Thing

Well, if any of you are still out there, I thought I'd share what's been keeping me busy lately. I was cast in Neil Simon's Rumors in June. I have the role of Chris Gorman and it's my first "leading" role. It's very much an ensemble piece, but I have the most lines and stage time I've ever had.

Buttons is doing well and is excited/nervous as the new school year approaches. She's in her last year of pre-school and I just can't believe how time is flying.

Ok, we're off to the library, but I had to touch base since it had been so long.

Sakura Sunday

There is something magical that happens when the sun shines and you can finally (!) take off your jacket in the spring. Add a Cherry Blossom Festival with friends and you have what feels like a fresh new start. It's like the dregs of winter just melt away as you feel the sun burn into your skin. I had been in a funk of a mood for a while and our trek to Fairmount Park in Philadelphia was just the trick to snap me out of it.

Cherry Blossoms

Buttons' first face painting.

Buttons and one of her best buddies S had a wonderful time together.

Buttons and S enjoyed finding dropped blossoms to hold and I just love this picture.

This is approximately my sixth try for this post, so let me know if it works please.

Easter

Buttons is a smart cookie and she asks an enormous amount of questions. I want for her to believe in the same magical things that i believed in as a kid, but I also don't want to lie to her if she asks me outright. It's a tough line to toe. She wondered if the Easter Bunny was a girl or a boy and she decided maybe there was one of each. When the day came and she searched for eggs (outside and inside) she was thrilled. I can see why parents continue with the traditions of their youth. I hope I was as fun for my parents as Buttons is for us.

I also want to share our fun with eggs. Buttons can crack eggs now and the joyful beep that follows once the shell has broken is so much fun to hear I feel like making eggs all the time. However, she only broke through a couple of eggs on dyeing day due to zealous crayon use.

She counted all the drops for each of the 8(!) colors...

...drew various designs with crayons...

...dipped...

...and voila...one of 24 Easter eggs!

Doesn't she look like she's so much older?

Spring!

No, it doesn't officially start until Saturday, but look at the bottom of Buttons' feet. We had a wonderful afternoon in the sun and she just had to take off her shoes. Who can blame her? Spring is coming...

Things my daughter says....

Buttons has always amused me with the way her mind works.
Here are a few things that have tickled me lately...

"But Mom, look at my legs. They are really long. I'm grown up enough to go."
(I was going to the memorial service of a friend and tried to explain why she couldn't go.)

"Mom, (they're singing about ) Nick and Jessica!"
(This is in a song from a brand new musical and they're referring to Lachey and Simpson, however Buttons is thinking of Mr. and Mrs. Claus.)

"Mom, how do they make marshmallows?"

(This was the first thing she asked at 7am one morning.)

"Monkeys come and make knots in my hair in the middle of the night. They live in our basement." (When asked how her hair gets so tangled during the night.)

"Mom, did Johnny Cash die because he fell into a burning ring of fire?"

I also have a new character I've been doing called the sock monster who likes to "eat" socks that aren't on feet. This is wonderful when I'm trying to get her to put on her socks and she squeals with joy when I'm in sock monster mode. However, I took it too far one day and pretended (apparently very realistically) to eat her socks. She started to cry and that was the end of the sock monster for a while. It is a good reminder that she does have a good sense of humor and obviously a great imagination but she can get so immersed in something that the line between fiction and reality is a bit blurry. (Which means it's going to be a while before I take her to see Coraline which was a wonderful film about a strong girl, but with very scary elements.)

I'm off to bed now...can't wait to hear the gems tomorrow.

Ice Skating

So, he's been itching to get his daughter on the ice. Buttons had her first chance this weekend and she rocked it.

The Ride Home

After spending 12 hours on the road back home from our Thanksgiving celebrations, I can tell you we visited many rest stops. The food is almost always the same: most likely fried and just plain awful. And can anyone tell me why and how people spray the toilet seat in the women's room? It's beyond me.

However, the three of us had a wonderful time snacking on grapes, singing along with our mixed tapes (our rendition of "Do-Re-Mi" is wicked awesome) and making rather silly jokes. Buttons is now a fan of Desmond Dekker and I really love singing "The Green Grass Grows All Around" with Bob Mc Grath.

Hubby and I shared driving. Buttons and I shared naps. Buttons shared her dream of being a horse rider in the circus and she plans to carpool with her friend S. (who will be an acrobat). We had a pretend wedding (she's been very into this topic) and asked many questions.

We also made plans for decorating our house for Christmas and when we're going to bake cookies. Buttons asked Hubby's help writing a letter to Santa that went along these lines "please help yourself to these cookies that I made with my mother". Now, if we could just get her to speak in a British accent, she'd be perfectly proper. And you know what? She doesn't sprinkle on the toilet!

One too many

Buttons has been a real trooper since we've been visiting relatives. However, today was the fifth out of six days without a nap and yes, it was one too many. She doesn't want to leave all of our relatives and I agree it's been a great trip, but we need to get on a schedule.

She had 2 major fits today and that's not like her. And roaring at me? Not acceptable. So Mom, Dad, brothers, in-laws, grandparents, friends I enjoyed our time together, but we must be moving on now.

Bittersweet Language

Buttons is growing. Her language is changing. She used to say "phlone" instead of phone and "Didah" instead of Dinah (our kitty). Her favorite cup was a Pooh cup but when she said it, it sounded like bull crap.

She's writing letters and putting them together in fascinating ways. I am now receiving many notes and being asked "what does this spell Mama?" Sometimes she spells "rooroa", but sometimes she spells out real words like "poop". Before we know it she's going to be reading and then a whole new world opens up for her. I'm truly excited, but it's bittersweet to watch her grow. It's going so fast that I'm trying to enjoy the moments while they're here and not looking back too much to revel in where we've been.

Oh, she still says "brefdast" instead of breakfast and she sings "I just can't wait to be a king" instead of "I just can't wait to be king", but she has mad language skills. She now speaks in complete complicated sentences that include words like actually and phrases like "as for me".

She still wants me to snuggle her in the night when she has a bad dream and the good thing about all this language is she can tell me about the things that scare her. I love listening to her and I try to imagine what it was like when she didn't say anything but goo-goos and gaa-gaas. We seemed to have plenty of ways to communicate then, but now? I can't even begin to tell you. We've started reading the original Pooh series at night and she will make jokes about it during other times of the day. It floors me and I'm thrilled by it. She's smart, funny and someone I'm very happy to know.